Will A Turmoil Be Ended With The Calm?

This Friday will mark the end of academic weeks of this semester. Well, this sem, has been a bumpy and thrilling rideeee! I deeply believe I have thrown out my heart from my throat; and I haven't found it to place it back.

From the very beginning, I was so busy with my two external exams until I have no time to blog about the second day of my Pangkor Trip. Thank God, I assumed myself passed MFE exam from the preliminary unofficial result. Whereas for FM, I could not say anything about it. The feeling of walking out of the exam room was I wanna throw out some f's words! But still, I will pray earnestly. We shall see in January when the official result is out.

The exciting thing is one day before my MFE exam I had Business Law test. And I only studied it in the morning of the test. Without knowing what is happening, I got 10/16 for it. And I was really glad for that because I know I could get higher, just that I did not know the technique of answering Law paper. I answered it straight without bringing some prior and posterior topics. (Prior and posterior are terms used in Probability, I misuse them here... Actuarial students like to use the jargon in daily life.. Bear with us...)

Things get extraordinarily slippery as the semester is proceeding.

One and the half day after my FM exam, I had Simulation test. And I did terribly terrible. I just got 3/13. Worse still, today was the second test of it, and I know for sure I could not get more than 6.5/13. So practically, I can say bye bye to A for this subject; at the same time, I can say bye bye to 4.00 this sem too...

Last Monday was a turbulent day I would say. I had Simulation Assignment 1 to be submitted on the next day. And we had to send the soft copy of the coding before Tuesday, which means before 12 midnight. I started on the coding at 9pm. And I got frenzied at 10.30pm as it kept popping out the error message when I tried to run the coding. I then asked my friend to help me have a look of it. And guess what, I misspelled the word "sheet"! My friend left a comment beside it, and I thought I misspelled it as "shit"! (You know in a state of agitation, our mind can just go haywire). But actually I just had 3e's for the sheet. Well, I had no faintest idea what was wrong anymore. What I did was to waiting impatiently and worriedly for my friend to correct it for me. "Having ants in my pants" describes my feeling no more of that time. And before the minute hand struck 12, my friend sent me the workable coding!!! At the same time, our tutor granted mercy on us. He allowed us to submit later as many were still struggling at that time. Then I added in some buttons at my spreadsheet to make the program more user-friendly and flexible. Right after that, I asked my team member to decorate the spreadsheet (I'm sucks in art) while I was working on the pseudo code. We finally emailed our assignment at 2.30am. The sorry thing was my friend had to delay his supper from 11pm to 1am!!! Really have to hug and kiss him affectionately as he is my great savior! Two days after this, group by group was called for interview regarding the coding. I learnt that the interview was troubling most of the groups and thus I got myself prepared line by line of the coding and some concept-related problems too. And needless to say, I did WELL during the interview. *pride* There is another Simulation assignment to submit this Friday, and I haven't started anything on it (not even read the question).

I keep repeating my mistake which is LAZINESS without a sense of repentance.Actually I do regret of my laziness but the temptations around keep luring me to sin!!! At the end, I end up with the mediocre horrendous result!!! At this point of time, I hope that with my newly set commitment, I can still save the whole situation.

The cruel, harsh, and ugly reality challenges me from the state of being sanguine, poised and steady.

Will a turmoil be ended with the calm? Will a storm be ended with a rainbow?