Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Resistance And Acceptance

Found this newsletter quite meaningful, so I post it here to share with you all... Enjoy reading...

All suffering is resistance.

We are resisting what is. Because it is not the way we want it to be, we then suffer.

The opposite of resistance is acceptance. Letting it be as it is.

Yet this is difficult. We reject what is because it is not perfect, beautiful, and true.

We think that by resisting it, we can then change it. If this worked, then suffering would not arise.

But our resistance does not lead to positive change, it leads to aversion, and we either avoid the thing or feel depressed about it.

Acceptance, on the other hand, does not mean withdrawal or resignation, it means engagement.

When we can accept what is, then we are also open to what can be.

All this is hard to understand in the abstract. So let us imagine a situation where resistance arises.

Imagine that you have no job and are low on money.

This is an unpleasant situation and you feel instant resistance to it. You do not like it at all. It frightens and upsets you.

It is not the situation that has created your suffering, but your strong reaction to it.

Because you are resisting, you are suffering. You reject the situation because it threatens the integrity of your well-being. This resistance, this rejection, and this suffering leads you to feel stuck, confused, and desperate.

From this place, your thoughts, feelings, and behavior are seldom productive. Your power of adaptation are greatly diminished. You have a bad situation on your hand and you feel bad about it.

Now switch that to accepting what is: that you have no job and are low on money. But because of that acceptance, you are able to feel good enough to start using the Law of Attraction to start working for you.

Because you are still in a resourceful state, you are open to new possibilities of how to create money in your life.

Do you see the difference?

Resistance creates a reaction of suffering that immediately plunges you into a non-resourceful state, and either the situation gets worse or it is resolved in a less than satisfactory way, e.g. you get a low paying job that you hate.

Acceptance on the other hand means that you remain optimistic. You see what is and you choose not to enter a non-resourceful state. You then resolve the situation by thinking, feeling, and acting in a positive way.

It is easy to love and accept what is good and pleasant. Yet problems do not have those characteristics. Our immediate and default reaction is to resist and to begin suffering and to make things worse. Yet with awareness, we can choose what is and adapt to positively changing it.

13 comments:

Damson said...

Oh this is just so right...to me la...
I think I should really consider about what this piece was saying and see whether Im resisting or accepting the fact that I am now on my current state or what ever that is comming...hmm..thanks for sharing this Jess...

ż£ż™ said...

By the way, what is Law of Attraction eh? Mind to explain? Sorry I'm just too "knowledgeless" XD.

Okay, it means if we don't resist, we won't suffer. Am I right? So when your father is tormenting you, and you chose to accept it in an optimistic way, then you will be happy and glad that your dad actually seeks joy from yourself, think optimistically, you respect and love your dad that you could let him takes or do whatever he wants, therefore no suffering, and you will get even better that you let him continue to do so... Sorry I think it was crap, I don't think this situation have any bond with your article, it's just that I inevitably thought of someone when I saw the word "suffering".

nostalgia.jesskang said...

Law of attraction is if you think positively, you will attract positive things towards you, and vice versa.

Well, as in your case, if you chose to argue with your father when he was tormenting at you, this would only make the heat situation hotter... So, perhaps what we can apply here is that keep cool though your father torments you for no reason, then get a chance to speak to him when he is in good mood...

Damson said...

Oh KY, I hoped will said your mom tormenting you..(duh..my mom is now doing that on me...) swt...

Eh...well..if you think it optimistically, even if ANYONE else who tormented you, if you dont resist then it will end earlier than you thought...but if u resist and fight back...it will last longer...hahaha =.=+

ż£ż™ said...

I couldn't agree on that stupid theory swt =.=""

Catguin said...

Does that mean to keep it to yourself ? Well, looking at the optimistic way is not easy all the time. But definitely doable, it helps if u have alot of hand phone credit tho

nostalgia.jesskang said...

KY, still remember contigency theory? I think the Law of Attraction can't be applied all the time, but we can refer to it and use to to some extent perhaps. I don't know you have such a big response to read this post... Sorry...

Cyntia, what does it do with handphone?

~K£cќ~ said...

"I inevitably thought of someone when I saw the word "suffering" =.=" btw that situation is so familiar eh ...

"then get a chance to speak to him when he is in good mood..." >>> what happens if he became bad mood again? Better dun repeat what happened or it will make it worse, especially for those parent who thinks that they are right all the time

it helps if u have alot of hand phone credit tho >>> XDXD ...

Well this theory is not all wrong and all right, it only applies to certain situation. Well, we can't just base on the theory, we have to look at the situation. It applies to management as well. We learned the theory but it doesn't mean that we can always use them. Thats what ms vim said rite?

"Cyntia, what does it do with handphone?" >>> Its the after process, where you find someone and leash out everything that you kept earlier.

Catguin said...

because (in reference to ky's post) accepting your father's torment is not an easy thing to do. Not each time you can handle it rasionally and talk to your daddy afterwards, sometime, u will just break down and it will lead to rebellious act.

Having a hp with credit,u can call ur best friend for a shoulder to cry on for a while. Thats all, nothing much ^^ Dun get confused by me

nostalgia.jesskang said...

Haha... Blogsot can be another ideal place for us to release anger too...

~K£cќ~ said...

Oh =.= ... cyn will you post it up here? XDXD ...

ż£ż™ said...

Contingency theory pulak =.=" I don't want to think about management anymore, screwed it. But I think I'll have to deal with it again in Actuarial Science later T_T.

~K£cќ~ said...

Izit ... got meh? @.@ actually this won't tbe the last time we see management again =.= ... most of us are going to learn it again later ...