Thursday, February 28, 2008

Being Guilty and Uncomfortable

Had a chat with my mum and dad just now on phone.

They asked me about my progress of professional exam and school results (as always).

Then I told them I got not bad results (I lied, I just got 8.29/10 actually) for the first test given back. I didn't really elaborate much on my academic progress. As at that time, I was so guilty and uncomfortable, I skipped class, I didn't do tutorial questions, I didn't listen in lectures and tutorial classes, and I didn't have a thorough preparation for the school tests. I have my own solid reason la, I devote most of my time on my professional exam now after being motivated by a friend of mine (can't reveal his name here, he wants to keep a low profile) and a professor from Waterloo University, Canada (will blog about him when I'm free). Is the excuse plausible? *sigh*

This conflict has been gnawing at me for quite a time already. Practically I have very little time left for school studies after having a self-study of the professional exam. And I feel that U**R certificates can't help me much after I graduate, so this led me to commit all the sins mentioned above -.- Anyway I still thank U**R for transforming to how I am today, I do learn a lot along the way, especially when I was in Foundation level, I met a bunch of lecturers of high caliber, I'm not lying nor flattering, seriously.

Perhaps from tomorrow and onwards, I must really run a 60/40 time management for professional exam and school exam. However, I doubt I'm able to do so... Self-studying is never easy and it's tiring.

*sigh* How am I going to tell my parents my conflict? Will they understand me? They are always proud of me. No matter how much I ask from them, they are never stingy to give. I come from a really big family as well. My progress of academic is "monitored" by those uncles and aunties from time to time =.= Though my parents never give me any pressure, their over-concern actually suffocates me without their realization.

*sigh* No matter how plausible my excuse, I think I still can't convince my parents, so I'd better bury myself more in my books (neeeeeerrrrrrrdddddddd).... What to do when you come from a big and prestigious family (this is how my relatives perceive themselves, not me okay)!? I never care of fame actually.

To tell you all a secret, my dad was being scolded (kind of) by my uncles when I didn't choose to further my studies in medic field... They said my dad should decide for me =.= What the .....

If you have too much time, please donate to me....

15 comments:

~K£cќ~ said...

To tell you all a secret, my dad was being scolded (kind of) by my uncles when I didn't choose to further my studies in medic field... They said my dad should decide for me =.= What the ..... >>> That sounded so ridiculous =.= you choose what you want to study and its your interest, not them. Why would they want you to become a doctor? So they can get free treatment izit? =.=

nostalgia.jesskang said...

Ridiculous? This is never ridiculouos in a big family =.=

Shane said...

This is the only predicament when you come from a big family.. In their eyes, only medical field can let you yearn big-fat remuneration..

Jess, study hard, prove to them that Actuarial Science is even better than medic..

~K£cќ~ said...

Even if you're from a big family, your uncle shouldn't have the right to ask you to take medic. If they want it badly, ask their own son/daughter to become one.

My uncle and aunt don't care whatever you're doing or studying, none of their business =.="

nostalgia.jesskang said...

There is still someone called dictator exists in this world :)

~K£cќ~ said...

DO he have the right to dictate you? =.=

Karen said...

u know what?there's 2 or 3 times when i went to see doctor and after his/her consultation..they asked how old i m thn...study what course?thn i said chemistry...thn their reaction like @.@ CHEMISTRY arr?aiyo...tough subject,thn he/she said las time i used to hate chemistry,bonding n structure so hard to study...y not choosing those bio area wan...like body at least got 'connection'(lol...not really know what he/she meant)chemistry no connection wan,hv to use imagination lol...even stranger commented why i choosing this course...really zhar dou lol...yet,till now i oso dono y i choose this wei...i'm such a failure

those uncles n aunts alot of comments wan la...juz ignore them :P

nostalgia.jesskang said...

Very funny the doctors LMAO

~K£cќ~ said...

Wah got doc ask liddat one ar? @.@ 2-3 times somemore

Discordant Dude said...

"I skipped class, I didn't do tutorial questions, I didn't listen in lectures and tutorial classes, and I didn't have a thorough preparation for the school tests..."

Well, I did all the above throughout my uni life. The only difference is, I didn't feel guilty about it. Hehe.

Seriously, if you have one good hour of self-study and one boring hour of "one-direction" lecture (where most of the things you can get fr the textbook anyway)... which one do you you think provides you with better education?

Of course to survive in the system, you have to be smart enough not to get blacklisted because of attendance, or fail your exams, or some other frivolous matters.

nostalgia.jesskang said...

Wow.... Get another "motivation" to skip class... Yea, true. So far, I still have no "two-street" lecture, and I still think that so far all the lecture material can be found in the textbooks, worse still a textbook only...

My attendance looks nice always... Haha.. Hmmm... Seem like every student does the same thing... But if you were the lecturer, what would you feel if you know thing like this happen?

Karen said...

yealo...so ridiculous right? =.="

nostalgia.jesskang said...

You're too pretty la, the doctors want to talk to you more, so pretend to ask this and that... LOL

~K£cќ~ said...

LOL ... dot dot dot

~K£cќ~ said...

I ponteng his cls today :( guilty LOL